New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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