We're facebook friends in real life
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
