was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
