My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
