I want to walk on stilts...naked
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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