Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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