You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
