everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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