It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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