I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it's like iHOP with fire
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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