she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
