YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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