i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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