It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
