I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
