I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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