With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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