I think I died a long time ago.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
