Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
