Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
