Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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