I think my fart just growled at me.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize