I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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