i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
