Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
