anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize