He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I am available for nakedness
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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