I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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