i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
