Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
