i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize