Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
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