do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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