Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
