he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
