If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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