He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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