What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
