if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize