real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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