why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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