Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
