How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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