The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
