Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize