Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
false alarm, still single
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