Can Purell be used as lube?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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