I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
