if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
