either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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