Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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