White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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