Got a toothbrush?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
only if we run a train.
done.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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