She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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