had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
