3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
