He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
